I love the rain. There's something about the coldness of the night that reminds me of countless memories of my life. Some I wish to reminisce and some I'd rather forget or both...
Let's start with the part I wish to forget:
I had a bad day. I was going home after work when this guy, a stranger, walked up to me and shared his umbrella. He didn't know that the rain comforts me. It's like the bestfriend I lost which comes back again and again when I need someone to be there when there's none. I don't care that my hair is dripping while they're comfortably dry with their umbrella. I don't care if my favorite bag is soaking wet and my 2-inch heeled shoes is about to slide in the pavement. I have the rain to embrace and wash away the sadness at that time.
I looked at him and thought to myself, "What a guy. Who would be kind enough to share an umbrella in this weather when everyone's rushing to go home and tackles everyone who dares to cut their way to the bus or taxi?" He did. He stopped and asked me if I wanted to share in his black umbrella. I was stunned. Speechless. I shook my wet head.
Darn. There goes my logical head. Don't talk to strangers. I noticed the feeling of rejection in him. He immediately rushed to get a ride on the next bus that stopped to avoid me. He must be thinking,"Go get wet. Who the hell cares?"
The snobbish me strikes again.
Okay, here's the part I kept remembering too.
College. My friend & I were in school and finally decided to go home after debating whether to go watch a movie or hang out at my place. We went ahead and ran in the rain towards my building. We didn't care that we're both soaking wet and that the wind kept blowing us back.
He was my 2nd longtime crush. The friend I can count on for all the ups and downs. I tell him almost anything under the sun. Once I even remembered asking him a weird question.
"Do you think I'm cold?" He just looked at me like I'm from Mars.
Then sincerely he answered, "No. It's just in your head." I don't know why but there's something in his eyes that I can't read.
I can just imagine him thinking, "Yeah you are. What's up with you? Why are you so cynical? Why are you such a man-hater? Not all men are two-timers and jerks."
I confided everything in him except the fact that I am falling for his stupidity, his corny jokes, his sarcasm, and most of all his thoughtfulness. I mean, why ruin the friendship? I'm young then; I didn't know I'd regret this for a long time until now.
We headed towards the lobby. While laughing, I noticed that he was looking at me differently. I asked him if I looked like crazy. He said it's nothing, it's just that my hair still looks great even though we got wet outside. I stared back at him with a puzzled look on my face.
Then the elevator opened and reality came back. He teased me about other stuff and forgot what he said entirely.
It's a cheesy moment. Something I wish to forget although it's happy. Because it doesn't matter how many times I replay that scene in my head.
The moment passed and the fact still remains that I never had the chance to tell him that once in my life I felt what it was like to be in love.