Dec 1, 2006

The one with the song syndrome

You know when you hear a specific song and your memories simply drift to some distant memory in your life?

It happens to me all the time…And then there are songs which remind me of just one person. I wanted to forget him but whenever I hear a song that was played when we're together, I am lost again.

It seems like it happened yesterday. I was once again the girl who was waiting for a guy to notice her and the guy was looking on the other direction.

Sigh. Time flies. I thought I got over the "butterflies in the stomach" part of my life. It’s really silly to remember such stupid memories. Maybe you never really forget your first love. You can say, “I moved on” or “I’m ready for a new relationship” but when you think deeper, you still have a part of you that would scream, “You’re not completely over him yet.”

When do you get over a person?

Is it when you can look him in the eye without noticing the way he's looking at you? Is it when you can talk freely about your love life to him and do not feel any hidden motive of making him jealous? Or is it when you unconsciously bump your knees and not feel anything?

For whatever reason, I remembered him again. Honestly, my mind’s telling me to go find someone else because he can never be mine. I’m going to waste my lifetime pining for the person you have to let go even if the world turned upside down.

Another sigh.

As if that will make it go away. I wish it would. Oh boy, I wish somehow it could.

Oct 27, 2006

The one with the freakin' memo

I hate my boss because she gave me a freakin' memo based from her stupid assumption that I broke a code of the company.

She said she is doing her job, gets reprimanded for our absences and claims innocence. I almost walked out during a meeting after her "I'm good" speech. I literally wanted to puke at her feet. We are allowed to get sick--"Please stop acting like we're robots!"

I was not listening to her because I was busy envisioning myself telling her, "I can't stand listening to this crap", and then walking out of the office. She even had the guts to send me a message about a good news at the office after her hilarious speech.

What a fake! She's giving us the memos after she had been signed up for a development plan from the manager. A complete schemer and a manipulative superior!

Well, I feel sorry for her because after I receive my BONUS, I'm out of that stupid company and her performance is going to suffer even more because of my resignation.

I've stayed for more than 2 years for the crappy job but this memo is beyond my comprehension.

I will not stay for being reprimanded for something I did not do. The hell with her!!!

How I wish I was my friend who could tell it to his boss' face, "I can no longer continue working for this stupid company and your idiotic supervision. Lastly, you can't fire me any time from today because I quit!"

Oct 13, 2006

The one with the lyrics

How To Save a Life

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it’s just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through

Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence

Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you’ve told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you’ve followed

He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he’ll say he’s just not the same
And you’ll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life...

---I just love this keeps playing in my head...over and over and over...

Aug 9, 2006

The one with the rooftop scene

I watched Just Like Heaven again. I just can't get enough of this movie. Who wouldn't? I's unpredictable, entertaining and has a smooth flow in its story. I love the scene on the rooftop when David (Mark Ruffalo) was sharing some of his memories to Lizzie (Reese Witherspoon) about his ex-wife:

R: What was she like?
M: You know, she was justa big pain in the ass.
No, really.
I mean, the bras on the doorknobs,
leaving the car with the...
with the gas needle below empty.
She couldn't put gas in the car.
It was impossible for her.
And just total stubborn inability to master a remote. So she would just randomly click buttons, until the TV was snarled into some unmanageable condition.
I mean, I'm so...
I'm mad just thinking...
...thinking about her.

And the other scene when his friend was doubting his sanity when they were going to kidnap her body to keep her alive...

FRIEND: If your friend's really behind me, ask her what I'm doing: Rock, paper or scissors?
R: Rock.
M: Rock.

R: Scissors.
M: Scissors.

R: Paper.
M: Paper.

R: Rock again.
M: Rock again.

R: He's flipping me off.
M: Are you flipping her off?
You're flipping her off!

FRIEND: How...? OK. OK, sometimes people with emotional and mental disturbances can have psychic moments. But even if she was real, do you know what you're risking for this woman?

M: Yes!


M: Because I love her.

I love her.

I do, I love you. (to Reese)
That was, well-a rollercoaster experience...LOL...I was like crying and laughing at the same time...and then..awwwww...

How many guys on earth would do that???

Jul 1, 2006

The one with the boy-next-door guy

"Thank u so much..."

Wow. That's what he said when I sent him the message that he got promoted. That's the good thing about having a dayshift, I am surrounded by all the current events. It felt ten times better than when I knew I passed the interview on my current job. I felt like I'm worth a million dollars on that moment!

I saw him earlier....

While I was doing the e-mail thing, I can't help but remember that second when he stopped walking and looked at me. Somehow I felt like he missed me. Just by looking. He went out and I thought he would just continue on his journey home when he looked back and saluted me in the glass windows of our warehouse-like office.

Ohymygosh. I think my heart went to my head. I waved back feeling like a beauty queen and gave my brightest smile. When I went downstairs, I can't help but whisper to my friend,

"Did you see that guy?"
"Yes, why?"
"Well, I had a crush on him when I was still part of their team."
"I thought so."

Is it that obvious? Grrr...

We sort of asked him when we had a sleepover...

"Is she the one?"
"Yeah I guess."
"How did you know that she's the one?"
"I knew it when she was talking to another guy and I got jealous."

As simple as that. This just proves that some men are still worth the risk.

Too bad my boy-next-door guy already has a girlfriend of 4 years and planning the wedding of the century some time in the near future.

Jun 13, 2006

The one with speechless

I was freaking speechless when I saw how happy she was. Here I was, wondering what the hell happened to the F word when all of a sudden she comes sending this message that she forgot about it!

What the F**% am I supposed to say?!

Ever felt like a mouse about to eat a cat instead of running away? I am on the verge of sending her a stupid message but I still have some sense left in me --so I won't.

I no longer hate her. I am hating myself because all I want is the truth and I can't seem to get it. I'm not sure if it's because I no longer care or I'm afraid of the answer when it's right in front of my face.

I'm creating such a big problem for myself. It is true then...your biggest enemy is yourself.

(If I can only have amnesia for one night, I would be more than grateful.)

May 18, 2006

The one with Anger

I received an email today about dealing with anger. The article said that when a person is full of anger, he is not capable of hearing the argument of another person. He can only understand his own reason for being upset and does not see allow any room for explanation. He may complain and blab the whole day and may have a tendency to focus on his own feelings. Therefore, the person who got mad is immature in its way of dealing with a dilemma.

Partly, I agree with the article. It clearly shows an immaturity if the person does not even ask for an explanation or hear out the argument of the other party. However, there are times that another person can only understand the hatred or the depth of a feeling once it has been heard.

It is also an outlet of anger. When you're mad, you just want to scream; you want to shout to the whole world that you have been hurt and mistreated. A piercing sound that came from somewhere deep within is a result of various emotions that in its inability to identify itself results in anger.

So when you're angry, mad or upset...scream!!! It will make you feel better after doing so.
*wink (2x)*


May 10, 2006

The one with the Top 10 Best Things in Life That Are Free

1. Someone offered to share his umbrella on a rainy day.
2. Staring in a star-filled night on a rooftop.
3. Hanging out with friends on a park.
4. Making someone smile with a corny joke.
5. Walking alone in the middle of the city before sunrise.
6. Watching the sunset in the beach.
7. Listening to a heartwarming song.
8. Sleeping after a hard day's work.
9. The smell of the droplets of rain on the way home.
10. Hearing a baby's laughter when you're feeling blue.

Mar 9, 2006

The one with the wound


"Some wounds are too deep or too close to the bone. And no matter how hard you work at it, you just can't stop the bleeding."

-Frankie Dunn (Clint Eastwood) from
Million Dollar Baby

Feb 20, 2006

The one with the keeper

I have this newfound friend I call keeper (she has this big bag that I always put my things into, like my cellphone and wallet--lazy me). She's like my long lost bestfriend. For some reason we just clicked as friends. I've lost my bestfriend of 6 years. Then I found her. Maybe this is why I'm jealous of this guy who kept bugging us...or maybe I just felt like I'm losing my new bestfriend after I lost my former bestfriend a year ago.

Complicated huh?

Yeah. I mean, I got transferred to another department and it's probably the reason why she's putting some distance between us because she might not be able to cope up after I left our team. She and I are like peanut and butter. We're inseparable. I tag along w/ her clumsiness and she laughs at my corny jokes.

Then last week I heard from my former bestfriend. She sent me an e-mail. It's not exactly a sorry letter but a "how are you?" message. What did I feel? (the psychiatrist in me says)

Nothing. Disappointment? Regret? Annoyed? Because after 2 long years of feeling alone and losing trust to people and even myself...she's back from her former place. I,however,will disagree with this.

When she had decided not to reply to my e-mail and I've waited and waited for a reply that will never be sent...this friend,who cried until sleep comes to mind,who lost the will to trust anyone again,who had thought over and over again what went wrong...

....had also lost the same friend she can always count on.

And she had already let go of her.

To be frank, I--the martyr, who had waited for this friend to realize her mistake...had moved on.

I've already forgiven her; that's enough. Going back to where we left off is another matter.

I may never be the same person again...but I'm glad it happened. Due to fate's good hands, I met "keeper" who is simply there--listening to my nonsense chat,sometimes kept voicing out strong opinions yet she gives the other person time to speak her mind.

She's there-a keeper who will be there in good and in bad hair days.;)