Feb 20, 2006

The one with the keeper

I have this newfound friend I call keeper (she has this big bag that I always put my things into, like my cellphone and wallet--lazy me). She's like my long lost bestfriend. For some reason we just clicked as friends. I've lost my bestfriend of 6 years. Then I found her. Maybe this is why I'm jealous of this guy who kept bugging us...or maybe I just felt like I'm losing my new bestfriend after I lost my former bestfriend a year ago.

Complicated huh?

Yeah. I mean, I got transferred to another department and it's probably the reason why she's putting some distance between us because she might not be able to cope up after I left our team. She and I are like peanut and butter. We're inseparable. I tag along w/ her clumsiness and she laughs at my corny jokes.

Then last week I heard from my former bestfriend. She sent me an e-mail. It's not exactly a sorry letter but a "how are you?" message. What did I feel? (the psychiatrist in me says)

Nothing. Disappointment? Regret? Annoyed? Because after 2 long years of feeling alone and losing trust to people and even myself...she's back from her former place. I,however,will disagree with this.

When she had decided not to reply to my e-mail and I've waited and waited for a reply that will never be sent...this friend,who cried until sleep comes to mind,who lost the will to trust anyone again,who had thought over and over again what went wrong...

....had also lost the same friend she can always count on.

And she had already let go of her.

To be frank, I--the martyr, who had waited for this friend to realize her mistake...had moved on.

I've already forgiven her; that's enough. Going back to where we left off is another matter.

I may never be the same person again...but I'm glad it happened. Due to fate's good hands, I met "keeper" who is simply there--listening to my nonsense chat,sometimes kept voicing out strong opinions yet she gives the other person time to speak her mind.

She's there-a keeper who will be there in good and in bad hair days.;)