May 27, 2010

The one with running

Running. It's the only exercise that I would love to do for the rest of my spare time given the chance. It allows me to enjoy the places I see and the people I pass by. Being in a gym doing a routine exercise is a complete boredom next to running freely with the wind blowing your hair everywhere which is the next best thing to flying.

It has always been my secret love-running. Even in the other aspects of my life. I've been and still am a runner.

I'm running late to go to work because I transform into a descendant of a turtle every time I wake up. I run away from my desk to go on break after a tiring, frustrating call. I run home when I'm pissed off at myself for not saying all that I have in mind to people who deserve to hear them. I run to my parents when I can't bear the solitude anymore. I run to the internet when I want to escape it all. This has been the story of my life.

I am tired of running. I want to sit on a sidewalk sometimes like the street children and watch the world go by without thinking of tomorrow. I envy them for having that luxury of letting everyone pass them by without receiving a glance.

I must be going insane. Maybe I am. Probably from too much exhaustion with colleagues who could not notice that they know too much for their own good to forget how to treat others with respect.

I never experienced feeling my hands get so cold from so much anger last week. I thought it was the worst kind of hatred I would ever encounter with work. I was wrong. Today, one scene after another kept my blood boiling that I am surprised I was able to leave work without causing a reason to be reprimanded or worse-- terminated.

An office mate of mine talked to me like I'm a 5-year-old kid who could not spell. Another one posted a message thru our general chat to everyone although I'm 99.9% sure that it was intended to further aggravate me.

As a Taurean, we are well-known for our vicious temper. My hands and feet got so numb even in the midst of the summer heat. I drank coffee while at work and then another grande Caramel Macchiato during lunch so that must be it.

Again, I was running to avoid being late after lunch but as expected I got late for about 7 minutes. My face was pure disbelief when my shift ended with a call that lasted for about 8 more minutes after 4 a.m. and I haven't broken anyone's bone.

My head kept repeating my advice to my gay friend, "The effort to do it is not worth your time." She kept bugging me to send an email to our boss regarding complaints and so on and so forth simply to make him as tired as we are.

She must be the only employee who constantly thinks of ways to witness a commotion or scandal of some sort to be entertained while dealing with all kinds of dilemma. To her, the best way to handle a problem is to share the dilemma with everyone while causing havoc along the aisle for a guaranteed effective impact.

I am glad I have her beside me or I might have posted some mean words in chat that I would regret later on. I didn't like running home today because I had this urge to face some serious matters head on instead of leaving them as they are. There's this idea that pops into your head that you want to correct others for their own good. Unfortunately, not everyone is willing to learn a thing or two and I respect our differences.

He must have been testing my patience. I almost want to give up but I held on and stayed quiet for a long time to endure it all. I hope I passed.


Lord, can you please lend me a good pair of running shoes next time? I might need to run really fast if they try to follow me and my uncontrollable temper.