Feb 21, 2013

The one with my single life

My boss, the chatty Indian with the neverending questions about my life and love plans, continued to pester me until this day since December. 

He cannot understand why it is not my priority in life at this age (whisper: approaching the 30ish stage) to find a boyfriend or a soon-to-be-husband. I, on the other hand, cannot understand why he believes that everyone should have a partner in life and cannot be happy being single.

He's married with 2 kids who are both boys that kept bugging him every morning at exactly 7 a.m. My boss said they constantly wake him up although he goes home around 2-4 in the wee hours of the morning during our graveyard shift. 

They embarrass him in the train as he said with their silly remarks such as "I am going to eat the hamburger!", while holding his fat tummy which made all the passengers on the train laugh. 

They ask him questions like "How much do you pay for the taxi in a month?" followed up by, "If you can pay that much, how come you can't buy us Ipad when it's a lot cheaper?".

I must admit it seems fun to have kids around because I, for one, enjoy having my little cousins or friend's kids to chat or play with. Let's just say I am a natural when it comes to the little ones compared to people with the same age group.

However, it's entirely different to have them as my own. A husband is also out of the question at this point in time due to my current status in life. I have been officially crowned as the co-breadwinner of my family when my Dad's supposedly new project didn't push through. 

Having a boyfriend or if I'm lucky enough-a husband would be such a blessing but right now, a hot bath and 8 hours of sleep is more than enough to keep me satisfied from all the stress in the IT world that I've recently been fortunate to be in.

I understand about his talk regarding my future that is connected to continuing our bloodline to the next generation and so on and so forth speech. I also understand his prediction that I would have laments about not having anyone to take care of me when I grow old without a family of my own. Lastly, I understand his worry that I will never experience such happiness brought about by having my own kids who will teach me about life in a way that can never be explained in words.

I understand all of those but how can anyone understand the simple joys of being single when they never experienced any of it due to the family of their own who occupies most of their time?

I am happy at this time to have peace of mind to accomplish and do anything I have in mind in my own time. I am pleased to say that I can reschedule or cancel any plans because I do not have anyone to ask permission to or get advice on a daily basis. I am satisfied to go wherever I wish to go because no one is relying on my presence at home all the time.

How dare he accuse the single people that our life pales in comparison with the married one? 

I am not saying that the single life is better than the married people's life but to each his own. 

We all have our own preferences and ideals of a satisfying life. A wise friend once told me, our own happiness depends on how we define it. Some associates happiness with a successful career, others with financial stability and often with family of their own.

Whatever the main reason for our definition of happiness, the important thing is we all choose to be happy and as long as we do not hurt others or steal this from anyone - we DESERVE it.

Feb 20, 2013

The one with sense

How do you make sense of your life when it doesn't make sense?

I usually find comfort when logging in because I gain answers after posting in this blog. Hopefully this one will do the trick.

Everyday for the last 2 months, I am undergoing a schedule. Call it a routine or a ritual. I am not the kind of person who can withstand it and I am amazed that I did. What bothers me though is that it is right and appropriate to follow these mundane tasks and chores yet unfulfilling on the inside.

I am becoming a robot. A scheduled task like the backup I initialize at work to do its main purpose of backing up all the data daily at a certain time of day, week or month. 

The idea that I am becoming nothing but a programmed thing assigned to whirl and twirl wherever it is destined to be is alarming.

Can my life be any different in the next 30 days as predicted by Tara - the online fortune teller that provided me a brief (oh no wait-too many paragraphs to count) narration of what will happen within a month. Most of it was saying it will be out-of-the-ordinary as well as life-changing that includes some kind of good fortune. 

Well, luck is definitely what I need right now because this backup is about to expire and get corrupted any time soon if nothing will be changed in my life.

I am planning to have a very long vacation in April to retrieve some of the old me. I miss who I was but I also like the new me. Time flies in Singapore and I need it to slow down a bit because I am missing on a lot due to work.

How I wish I can simply fly back now. Well, 2 months is just around the corner. 

I can almost smell the sun from home, humid and slightly breezy but comforting to my soul.