Jun 26, 2011
I woke up early to meet my friends from my previous job in Woodlands and watch a friend in a cheerdance competition. It was a gathering of Filipinos in SG. An exhilarating adventure that led me to know 2 more people who made me feel how lucky I am in this life. Although my friend's team lost in the competition, it was worth it to wake up early on a Sunday morning because I saw her do the booty shake! I had tons of fun which was followed by a coffee moment with my gay friend. We had a loooong chat about our lives and I am so glad I decided to meet them despite lacking enough sleep. It was like a patient talking to her psychiatrist for free. All my burdens from the last few days have been lifted somehow. My most recent family problem was a huge surprise and I am clueless as to how to respond to this new challenge He gave me. I am planning to face it soon but for now I'd rather keep my silence until my mind is clear enough to understand how I should solve them. Time to sleep!
Jun 19, 2011
We walked for a few kilometers today near Mountbatten and my sister along with another housemate shared with me this amazing bridge with a great view of the city at night. It was the view I was seeing whenever I go home from work. The bridge has the clean and peaceful river underneath it which made it perfect. I never thought these little things like walking in the bridge would remove all the stress I had for the whole week. I didn't even feel bored even though there were silent moments during the walk. The scenery was very serene and calm. The evening was like a dream and taking a picture of it was satisfying although it's far from the real magic it brings to those who found its beauty.
Jun 15, 2011
My sister got a good news today. She was offered to start with her new job with an unexpectedly generous salary although it's only for 3-4 months at a prestigious bank. She was literally jumping with joy (I can't believe it myself with her weight but she did). God is great!
I met a lot of Filipino team mates who were nice and friendly. One of them even offered to include me in their Poker games every Saturday because they need one more player. I just smiled, not knowing how to respond. It was overwhelming to be invited to join them and to be a part of a new group again.
I was caught using my mobile phone without the headset on earlier when I did the buddy-up. I just smiled because I don't think the Indian trainer would believe my explanation anyway. The truth was, the agent is already assigning the ticket and simply letting the caller know about it. The call is almost done and I had just removed the headset. It was an unlucky incident since I've been looking out for the hawk since morning and she still saw me when I had just pulled out my phone from my pocket. Good thing I haven't added her in FB yet. Moving forward, I'll make sure to avoid these lousy moments. The blessings are still getting better and better.
I miss my family and friends whenever I ride the bus alone. The great view of the bridge connecting the land with all the tourist spots in between was wonderful but it's not the same without any of them. I always have my headset in my ears with the usual songs that remind me of the past to keep me company. It soothes the homesickness somehow. Specific songs remind me of different moments with them and it's enough for now. I kept telling myself that soon I'll see all of them and life will be the same again. There's no room for sadness when there's an unknown time to be happy about the great things in between.
Jun 9, 2011
I am hooked to this song "Chasing Pavements" by Adele. My favorite part of the song is:
I build myself up
And fly around in circles
Waitin' as my heart drops
And my back begins to tingle
Finally, could this be it
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasin' pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste
Even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasin' pavements
Even if it leads nowhere
I walked with my newfound friend who's from Myanmar for the second time since we started our training last weekend. Everyone has this idea that I am head over heels in love with him and the truth is--I am fascinated with him. He is interesting to speak with because he doesn't talk like other guys do. He is a gentleman. He shows respect in each and every move he makes. He also has a girlfriend and I do not have any romantic interest in him. Period. I am interested in a brotherly way since I never had a brother.
Time flew by and I just can't seem to make it stop. I got blisters on my feet and each of them marks the moments of hardships that I had to go through to get my life on track. I've been floating into different jobs that I wasn't sure of without any direction. This is the closest I've come where I believe I'm on to something riskier than I've ever been in my life. I've always been satisfied to be in the sidelines and I finally took the reins to be where I want to be for the first time.
I'm in the first week of product training and I am lost in all the acronyms flying everywhere. The trainer is reading all the slides in the Powerpoint and it is a bit annoying but we don't have a choice on the matter. Life is different in Singapore. Spoonfeeding days are over. We should try to learn everything on our own or we'll drown. The trainer is also a Filipino but she is oozing with indifference that she didn't even notice everyone's bored to death while she continuously reads through the material.
My 2 other friends who are from the Philippines were a blessing although they cannot compensate for the loss I felt when I left my friends from work. It is really a HUGE adjustment. With the shared bedroom and bathroom, the changes I experienced were not as expected but I'm coping with it day after day. It is a miracle that I'm no longer losing my way to work and back home. It is a surprise that I had the courage to speak to people of different races which I wouldn't have done on a normal day. Lastly, it is a shock that I am thinking the decisions in my life on my own this time.
I must admit that most of my life had been dependent on my family's suggestions and recommendations. It had been acceptable and beneficial for me; however, I came to the point that I was suffocated. I wanted to be completely free to decide for myself. I don't want to regret not doing the things I wanted to do. I will go to Paris (hopefully soon!) and I will save enough to buy my own place I can call home.
These pavements will remind me that life goes on whatever happens. With or without any man, I will become a happy woman. I promised myself that I will make the most out of my life whatever happens. God is very generous in giving me 28 years of my life and I will make sure He feels I'm grateful for every minute of it.