Nov 7, 2011

The one with my perception of guys

What is the difference between touching a guy friend's hand on on purpose for confirmation like a high-five and accidentally brushing your hand to his when you both reach for a chip in a bowl? Nothing right? This should be a normal occurrence which should not result to any awkwardness.

When I slightly nudged his hand when we had an agreement about a certain joke and laughed about it, he was smiling at me like we're good friends. 

He even made a few questions about me dating my sister's other friend and  then making his own conclusion that I always think all guys are gays. I do not think all guys are gays, but most of them are when you least expect it.

On the other hand, when we both reached for a bowl of chips and our hands accidentally touched, he became cautious on the side of bowl to get the chips from.

This was like the incident last week when we both stood in front of one another when walking towards the other side of the room. I was expecting him to walk on the other side of the way and I guess he was expecting the same from me so we both stood there near the kitchen for about 5-10 seconds waiting for the other to move then he laughed. He was on his cellphone talking to a friend and I was checking my cellphone for emails while walking with a glass of water on one hand.

I googled this on the internet because I am really clueless about these things. I mean, I honestly think he's gay but there are days when he's acting like a guy. He hasn't really admitted being gay but I just made that conclusion in my head because he's like no other guy I've met. 

His cleanliness is above par. He cleaned the whole unit one day like we hired a cleaning crew who also replaces curtains. Need I say more?

He smells so good that I stink near him. 

He is street-smart and wise in terms of money, career and life in general. 

He is aware on current events-even Hollywood updates or local celebrity gossips. 

He understands gay lingo although he doesn't speak like one.

He sleeps like he's posing for a magazine sometimes which makes me look like a harassed cow in bed.

He is very organized and neat with his things that you would think he learned it from a special course in a university for the neat at heart.

He listens to love songs (both local and foreign) and others that I used to think only girls do although sometimes he plays acoustic rock or alternative rock too.

His bed has always been arranged like a guest would occupy it whenever I go home.

There are many others which puzzle me about him. He is strangely different than the normal guys I knew and that scares me. I always have this picture in my head of how guys are but once you live with one, you begin to realize that your knowledge about them is less than half of it.

I must admit that he slightly gave me a better view about guys. I do not condone discrimination with men in general but the media and the society that we lived in instilled a view about men that stuck in a way that made us believe a specific description of who they are, which is not entirely good.

He made me see that guys can be cleaner than girls. 

He argued that my sister and I are the only siblings so I should forgive and forget which was a shock coming from him who seemed to be indifferent most of the time. 

He made me realize that some men know how to cook and are into healthy food. 

He showed me that men can be a gentleman (i.e. opening doors for women, allowing us to go first when about to dig in during meals etc.). 

He gave me an insight that not all men can be associated with a specific quality or persona (i.e. hardcore action fanatic/video game freak/rocker with tattoo plus tons of attitude). 

I learned from him that we can never stereotype a single person by our own impression of them because there's more to a man than what we see in them. They are different than women in numerous ways but at some point we do have similarities that are undeniably shocking. 

Due to these common characteristics, I automatically went on auto-pilot that he is gay which was unfair on him. Okay, with the recent improvements on his behavior and the details of his life that I happened to discover- it is an injustice to put him in a specific category because I was wrong for judging him with my own observations alone.

I finally decided to move on with this quest to know his gender because there's no point in all that. I will not cross the boundary of friendship because he is my sister's friend and I'm like a sister to him. I think he can be a great friend if we would be given the chance to get to know each other with more than the facts we both learned from others about our lives. 

Being perceptive about guys and their behavior was never my forte in the first place and I might as well shut up in this department. I've been with gay friends for too long which might have influenced my opinion somehow. Well, I promise to change it and give them a chance to tell me who they are before jumping into any conclusions starting today.

Here's to a new outlook in men. Bow. May the men that I meet show their true colors for the goodness of humanity.