All of us go through a phase- admit it or not, we all have sides of us that we are prepared to share with everyone else but sometimes we have aspects of our lives that we'd prefer to keep by ourselves. As they say, all secrets are meant to be known sooner or later. But again, it depends on how fate plans to surprise us.
This afternoon was a roller coaster of emotions for me. I used to be one of the shy, timid, predictable girls from the province and I turned into a loud, insensitive and sarcastic bitch. I don't understand it but I must admit that it was a refreshing change. I became the exact opposite of who I was in my teens although I still have some values left here and there. Time has brought me to the moment when I slightly understood myself. I finally accepted that we developed and gained certain behaviors for our own benefits.
Learning about yourself is probably one of the most difficult tests we need to undergo in life. I'm glad I have grasped some of that before I turn 30 or I'd still be groping in the dark for an identity.
Anyway, I listened to the song "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri and something in me was dumbfounded with awe and disbelief. After laughing like a lunatic earlier with my housemates, my emotions switched to confusion then I felt teardrops forming in my eyes. Is this me? Am I really going to cry when any moment someone might come inside the shared room? No. My brain told me to stop. It did. But the feeling stayed like a shadow, waiting to be noticed.
Hopefully jogging will cure this. It's my only solution when my brain is in the mood to go on auto-pilot and I can't seem to control it. I need to clear my head big time. I need to breathe. Tomorrow's another day but I'll be okay by then. Right?