Nov 30, 2005

The one with sorry

"I don't believe you. Someone told me before he'll do it and I'm going to wait for 45 days again?!"

Well, yeah I guess. As much as want to take a spell and put some magic into your networks, the company needs to wait on an approval for the network.

This guy kept bugging me over the phone.

I was about to tell him with my most serious tone of voice that we don't have control over the site when he suddenly said...

"My wife and I used to watch the channel you see. She had passed away last week and I'm going through the depression. I can't believe we'll lose that channel, we used to watch that in the beginning of this year. I'm sorry for my behavior but the TV is the only thing keeping me alive these days."

"I'm sorry for your loss." Like it would do anything. (Don't dare mention the word understand or you're dead-dictates my head.)

I melted like an ice cream on my seat. I felt like sweating or scratching my head or better yet knock it on the desk. Stupid me. I almost got into a fight with someone who had lost someone he loved.

Me and my big mouth. Good thing I still had a little bit of sanity left in me.

I muttered sorry like 6 times because he kept telling me a story about her addiction to the local channels.

I envy him. At least he had met someone like her. I'm still strolling on some unknown street trying to find Mr. I'm-a-good-guy-who-can-fight-with-a-girl-who-is-smart-and-funny-and- Naaaah..never mind. Nobody like that really exists.

He's either in a relationship or gay. Those are my 2 options most of the time. I am one unlucky bitch.

If there's someone out there who's supposed to be my guy, well, he probably got lost in his cab and had landed on an island where there's no phone or airplane passing by. He could've died because of fatigue and hunger,was lost at sea or eaten by cannibals???

Ohmygoodness. Here I go again.
That's just the beginning.

There's more to that once a girl imagines, believe me.

Nov 10, 2005

The one with YOU

Dear YOU,
As your friend, I appreciate everything you have done for me. I am truly grateful that you were there when I badly needed someone who's always there to cheer me up and keep me company when I don't want to be alone. You've been the friend who gives constant advice and listens to my corny jokes. Most of all, you made me see that there are some things in life worth sacrificing to be happy. You are one of a kind.
However, these past few days have bothered me. I don't know if I was just too busy with my plans of resigning that I didn't notice some things about you until today. Everyday, you can't help but ask me if you're getting fat or not. I would reply the usual, "No, you're just imagining things."
I got tired of it. Earlier, I wasn't able to help it so I told you, "No, I didn't notice anything different" when you asked me if you're getting skinny as what your friend from college told you.
Another sore subject I'm tired of hearing is your fetish for shoes or nail polish. Why are some girls so into these topics? It's either you're showing off your new high-heeled shoes or your new nail polish which aren't on the top of my "interesting topic" list. If I notice things, I simply tell a friend or two, "Hey, I like that." I'm beginning to wonder if you badly needed some attention when you were growing up that it's starting to pop up now that you're 24. I'm 22 and I don't need any attention. I hate it when people comment about what I'm wearing and they're mind is somewhere else. What is it with compliments? I hate it when people make those nonsense comments to fill the silence.
There's nothing wrong with compliments; it's irritating when a praise is used to say something or anything to avoid an awkward moment. I'd rather listen to the sound of dripping water. Thank you.
Then there goes the spur-of-the-moment stories about your ex's. Or ex-suitors. I've heard them a thousand times. Maybe at first I was fascinated with your suitors who kept bugging you but it's getting to my nerves. In the first place, I don't know them. Second, you don't need to let me know that you have good qualities because you do. I don't want to think you're the insecure type but that's what my mind is telling me after hearing a thousand suitors sending you text messages and all that shit.
Oh, and I wouldn't consider your overly conscious tummy which can taste the cholesterol over every food that you eat bad. I understand you're a bit chubby, but you're not the girl who walks with layers in between your boobs and thigh who needs to look at all the calories on every food listed on the menu. Earlier, I can't help but look at my cellphone to avoid the stare that the waitress gave you when you made her wait for 10 minutes because you can't decide what to order.
Oh my goodness. I smiled at you to hide the reaction I have deep, deep down. To be honest, you were worse than the customers I've dealt with over the phone today.
I have a lot of friends. We enjoy talking about almost everything under the sun. We talk about each other's life, hobbies, movies, politics, news, and even our lousy adventures in the past. With you, it seems like my world is limited to your suitor, ex's, weight, trips in the US etc. We also talk about other stuff sometimes but most of it goes back to YOU...I like you but the word self-centered and shallow floated in the air with it's startling but clear meaning.
I am so sorry but some part of you is quite strange in my little world. I can take people who are undergoing some diet. Not drinking softdrinks for a year is okay but choosing food with less oil or noticing the grease in fries and MSG (which makes you dizzy too often I can't count) is just too much it gives me a headache.
I want to roll my eyes a dozen times. If you weren't my friend I would've done that but since you are, I kept quiet.
You were always telling me to live life to the fullest and do not concentrate on work too much. I am giving you the same advice now. You've been cooped up in your wonderful world about yourself, you weren't able to know more about other people while you're growing up.
Here are some tips:
-talk about your life but do not talk too much about them (anything done excessively is bad)
-chatting about men is a usual topic but not when all of them are crushing on you;not all men are dying to get you to bed
-stop talking about grease when your friend is a fan of fries
-too much cleanliness is icky (like wiping your straw or spoon when the waiter had accidentally held the wrong end) WARNING: germs would not kill you in a split second.
-wait for someone to notice you, fishing for compliments is killing the absolute truth on it
-the world does not revolve around you
I am dying to tell you all this but the other side of me pulls me back. What if I'm also strange to you?
I am not like you so if we'll think of this in a logical way, I may also appear as the one with the exaggerated behavior. I won't blame you. I want to live life to the fullest. I smoke, I drink, I eat all the greasy foods on earth, I'm not afraid of softdrinks & I order whatever food I can think of when I'm hungry. I am all those things...
And I'm happy with my life.
So what if we're different? If you're happy on how you live, I respect that. Just please don't talk about the above-mentioned things because the next time you do, I'm afraid my eyes would turn white.