The one with the loser day

It's almost lunch, not even a nap since 6 p.m. yesterday, but I am still as awake as an electrocuted rabbit. Why?

2 REASONS:

1. work-related bad/good news

2. poker

Let's start with the first one. The HR and training manager surprised me and some of my wave mates when they separately discussed our "sort of" termination from work. It is not exactly the right word because we decided to leave the company, not the opposite. Each of them mentioned about the salary which was higher than what we expected. Technically, we'll be paid until May 12 although we were asked not to show our faces at work starting today.

Unfortunately, I was not trained on how to handle deep emotional stress so instead of looking like it's the end of the road, I laughed at every silly comments and questions made by my office mates in my hopeless attempts to deny the truth, as requested by our beloved manager--to avoid further bitterness for those who will stay on training. I really hate the confidentiality agreements; it's like poison to friendship.

Smiling seemed to be the best way to handle things so I did-- when we bought them pizza for our last hour there, when they teased me to sing (I didn't, after singing twice for being late--never again), when my friend Charlie made a speech on behalf of those who are leaving (I almost cried in the corner) and lastly when our trainer said goodbye and shook my hand. I almost ran to go outside because I can't bear to see them and not imagine what could have been if I stayed.

As much as I've wished to be out of that room to wake myself up for so many times (only to get coffee or to go the restroom), I wanted to be inside that training room when I closed the door. I'll surely miss all the fun times that we had while we tackle silly and green stuff all at the same time.

The good news is that I'm free from all the stress made by malwares, sales scripts and DOS commands and I'm still paid for being at home. The bad news is I'm back to square one. I'm unemployed again. I am an instant addition to those who will go online looking for jobs and waiting for a call that may never come. I will be another lost soul lurking in offices, sitting in an uncomfy chair while the HR tries his or her best to annoy me with questions and the endless waiting to test my thin patience.

Sad but life's like that.

Let's move on to Poker. An addiction to the online game in Facebook called Texas Hold 'em Poker got me constantly hooked to my laptop. I played for almost 4 hours since I got home and guess what--I'm still a loser. I lost about $5,000 from a game! A virtual game. Darn- I managed to be a loser virtually and in reality. Who can beat that now?

=(