“The things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect.” -Luna Lovegood of Harry Potter
I can certainly relate to that line from the movie--Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. It seems like bad news kept coming and there's no room left for hope these days.
I went home this morning after work feeling like a cat moping on the sofa. I've been having sleepless nights thinking where I'm going to work after April 20. The acquisition made by an unscrupulous company to my current employer is downright tragic. My co-workers and I were given a choice to stay; however, their terms and conditions lay a heavy burden on our heads that made me decide to leave the company.
I'm usually optimistic whenever I encounter difficult situations. I treat them as a challenge for my own personal growth no matter how far it leads me as long as it's for a long-term goal. I never realized I would end up defeated a month before my birthday.
Another bad news was served to me in the form of a missed call from a close friend. I woke up when I heard my sister talking to another friend of his who told her that his mom passed away. It would've been bearable if her death was due to old age or nightmare (although it's still never going to be easy to accept) but fate was too cruel and had to create a fire that burned their house in Davao with his mom locked in her room. The saddest part was that she cried for help and nobody had the courage to rescue her for fear of their own life.
He's a very jolly person. He even organized some kind of celebration last Thursday held in a coffee shop near the bay area just to eat breakfast. Unlike most Filipinos who stay at home during holy week or go to different churches, he said he would like to spend his time with closest friends for the daily dose of updates. We didn't even have a clue that after that celebration we would receive a very disturbing news.
Nothing beats depression than another tragic news. His news made me forget my own dilemma. My work-related problem is nothing compared to his loss right now.
Sometimes I want to question God why He does these things. Why did he take her away from him? Why did she have to endure such pain when He can take her any way He pleases without inflicting such suffering?
As hard as it is to accept it, I try to understand that He always has a reason for everything. It is the only thing that helps me see the world in a different light.
I must admit I'm not a religious person. A Catholic who doesn't go to masses every week but goes to church to pray is not something that I am proud of. I prefer to talk to God alone rather than go to mass and not understand a word that the priest is saying combined with different kinds of noises in the background.
Going back to the line from HP and the P of A, I took it as a sign when I watched it this morning from HBO. Maybe in some way, God is telling me not to lose hope somehow.
If not, then I'll try to look for another sign and hope I don't miss it.