Oct 14, 2005

The one with the box

I was busy cleaning my room because I was trying to find my favorite jacket when I got my hands on the box I've kept so long.
The Box of Memories.
Yes, me & my friends kept one. Silly, right? Those were THE DAYS.
I was the keeper. It started in high school. We were hanging out in school when we had decided to collect any items we have on a day we spend together:receipts,flyer,ribbon,playing cards etc.
Every memory we ever had is in that box. I almost forgot I have it. We were 4 in the group. Let's call my first friend "Lenny". She was the most sought-after girl in the batch. The girl who had both brains and beauty. She had been a friend I met through another friend. We became closer than I thought we ever would. Where is she now? She got a miscarriage before she even graduated and had 3 bad relationships before she met the man of her dreams who is more than 10 years older than her.
I'm happy for her but we've lost communication since I went to college in another city. I tried a dozen times to contact her; she doesn't reply to my messages so I just let it go. I don't hate her for what happened. I only regret that we've lost whatever we had years ago. It's not her fault either...maybe it's me or it's just fate...
Then there's another friend "Tina". She's the smartest and most daring person I've ever met. She graduated in another city like me but we kept in touch. She slept over a couple times in my place that we're practically sisters. She had a few reckless adventures in her life however, she had managed to overcome all of them. One of her wrong moves is probably having a baby. She's not ready for it but was able to accept reality and do what is best for her daughter. I'm so proud of her. She grew up in a family like mine. She grew up from a poor family like me. Maybe that's the reason for our unique bond. We both know how to value what we have especially friends because of what we've been through. She's still calling every now and then and nothing has changed between us.
The closest friend I ever had was "Meagan". She was the most popular girl in school at that time. She's outgoing, friendly and what other people don't know about her is that she's down-to-earth & simple. She might appear flirtatious,brainless or just plain pretty but she's more than that. I liked her because she's not pretentious nor self-centered. We had many things in common. Books, songs, hobbies-name it. I was the girl no one would ever remember in school. I didn't excel that much in high school and I never wanted to be a popular girl. I want to simply walk in the hallway unnoticed. It was the most bizarre thing that we became friends with different circle of friends.
I thought we will be friends forever. We had even studied on the same university because we don't want to be away from each other. On my last year in college though, something happened.

She wasn't calling or sending me messages for 3 months. I tried to talk to her. The unexpected response from her shocked me. She replied in the most hurting way possible. I never imagined we would end our friendship THAT way.

It's almost a year now. I thought I had gotten over it. The hatred's gone but the pain is still there. I know I have found new friends and I should be happy...but it's not the same.

I always end up reminiscing those times we had-laughing in a joke that WE can only understand. We can interpret each other's action by just looking. She's someone who knew what I'll think right before I know it and vice versa.

It's sad when you lose something. Suddenly, I was trying to grasp a part of myself that I've been missing for so long. I stopped rummaging the box of memories. My missing jacket can be replaced.

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