The one with why

More than once in our lives we find ourselves asking this question, "Why?"

To eliminate the deafening answer right in front of our faces, we find comfort in questioning the reality of the situation. We lose our own path by making excuses for other people's behavior. Our thoughts wander into the unknown because that gives us a glimmer of hope in our miserable state.

How often do we ask the question "why" to provide us with more than what we should have been grateful for? Yes, it may seem ridiculously insane and constantly addicting to inflict ourselves with pain over and over again but how did we allow ourselves to be involved in an unfortunate situation in the first place?

I wonder, if we removed the "whys", could our lives have been better?

Would we still be in the same career and relationships we belong to if matters have been altered due to the removal of this demanding and thought-provoking word in the equation?

Are we going to live a healthier and happier life by not questioning the reality of it?

One word can indeed affect our entire lives when we think about it.

A professor from Philosophy class that I had in college told me this was the question in their final exams and only one of them got a perfect score. They were asked to answer the question "why" with supporting philosophies learned throughout the curriculum in 3 sheets of paper which includes explanations of each premise.

I never realized the importance of his story until today. 

Lives are definitely interconnected in a million ways and reasons which we will only know once we reach a wiser age. 

At that time, this was simply an amusing story.

Today, the memory came back and this became a life-long lesson.

The only student who slept through the exam only has two words written on his paper. 

"Why not?"

My professor's teacher was appalled and had the student immediately come to him for an explanation.

The student bravely answered that only the question "why not" can counteract the question "why" and for this reason all other premises lose their essence. Nothing can provide a solid argument with why better than why not which is its exact opposite.

Those two words were like a slap to me while my head was spinning with a million questions this evening.

This was the answer I was waiting for all these years. 

Everything that happened to me. The pain, the hardships and all the sufferings I had been through to be where I am today-I have no right to question it because it's reality.

I can either accept it or I can continue questioning myself everyday and not receive the answer I was hoping for because maybe there is no answer that will satisfy me no matter how long or accurate it is.

Thank you for this Prof, wherever you are right now- I owe you one. 

Why not?

The one with my single life

My boss, the chatty Indian with the neverending questions about my life and love plans, continued to pester me until this day since December. 

He cannot understand why it is not my priority in life at this age (whisper: approaching the 30ish stage) to find a boyfriend or a soon-to-be-husband. I, on the other hand, cannot understand why he believes that everyone should have a partner in life and cannot be happy being single.

He's married with 2 kids who are both boys that kept bugging him every morning at exactly 7 a.m. My boss said they constantly wake him up although he goes home around 2-4 in the wee hours of the morning during our graveyard shift. 

They embarrass him in the train as he said with their silly remarks such as "I am going to eat the hamburger!", while holding his fat tummy which made all the passengers on the train laugh. 

They ask him questions like "How much do you pay for the taxi in a month?" followed up by, "If you can pay that much, how come you can't buy us Ipad when it's a lot cheaper?".

I must admit it seems fun to have kids around because I, for one, enjoy having my little cousins or friend's kids to chat or play with. Let's just say I am a natural when it comes to the little ones compared to people with the same age group.

However, it's entirely different to have them as my own. A husband is also out of the question at this point in time due to my current status in life. I have been officially crowned as the co-breadwinner of my family when my Dad's supposedly new project didn't push through. 

Having a boyfriend or if I'm lucky enough-a husband would be such a blessing but right now, a hot bath and 8 hours of sleep is more than enough to keep me satisfied from all the stress in the IT world that I've recently been fortunate to be in.

I understand about his talk regarding my future that is connected to continuing our bloodline to the next generation and so on and so forth speech. I also understand his prediction that I would have laments about not having anyone to take care of me when I grow old without a family of my own. Lastly, I understand his worry that I will never experience such happiness brought about by having my own kids who will teach me about life in a way that can never be explained in words.

I understand all of those but how can anyone understand the simple joys of being single when they never experienced any of it due to the family of their own who occupies most of their time?

I am happy at this time to have peace of mind to accomplish and do anything I have in mind in my own time. I am pleased to say that I can reschedule or cancel any plans because I do not have anyone to ask permission to or get advice on a daily basis. I am satisfied to go wherever I wish to go because no one is relying on my presence at home all the time.

How dare he accuse the single people that our life pales in comparison with the married one? 

I am not saying that the single life is better than the married people's life but to each his own. 

We all have our own preferences and ideals of a satisfying life. A wise friend once told me, our own happiness depends on how we define it. Some associates happiness with a successful career, others with financial stability and often with family of their own.

Whatever the main reason for our definition of happiness, the important thing is we all choose to be happy and as long as we do not hurt others or steal this from anyone - we DESERVE it.

The one with sense

How do you make sense of your life when it doesn't make sense?

I usually find comfort when logging in because I gain answers after posting in this blog. Hopefully this one will do the trick.

Everyday for the last 2 months, I am undergoing a schedule. Call it a routine or a ritual. I am not the kind of person who can withstand it and I am amazed that I did. What bothers me though is that it is right and appropriate to follow these mundane tasks and chores yet unfulfilling on the inside.

I am becoming a robot. A scheduled task like the backup I initialize at work to do its main purpose of backing up all the data daily at a certain time of day, week or month. 

The idea that I am becoming nothing but a programmed thing assigned to whirl and twirl wherever it is destined to be is alarming.

Can my life be any different in the next 30 days as predicted by Tara - the online fortune teller that provided me a brief (oh no wait-too many paragraphs to count) narration of what will happen within a month. Most of it was saying it will be out-of-the-ordinary as well as life-changing that includes some kind of good fortune. 

Well, luck is definitely what I need right now because this backup is about to expire and get corrupted any time soon if nothing will be changed in my life.

I am planning to have a very long vacation in April to retrieve some of the old me. I miss who I was but I also like the new me. Time flies in Singapore and I need it to slow down a bit because I am missing on a lot due to work.

How I wish I can simply fly back now. Well, 2 months is just around the corner. 

I can almost smell the sun from home, humid and slightly breezy but comforting to my soul.

The one with the neverending introduction

FIRST DAY AT WORK...

1) Shake hands.

-So this is what it feels like to run for mayor or congressman. Fat hands, skeleton hands, macho hands, boxer hands, construction-worker hands, iron-grip hands and play-dead hands. Whew. I thought it would never end. After circling the 27th floor, the HR brought me to 19th floor for the IT people. I thought it's the end of the introduction fever but I was dead wrong. Young and old, with and without hair touched my cold hands on both floors. I shook hands with more than 50 people for my first day at work today. I only remembered one or two names out of all of them.

Lesson Learned: Never underestimate the power of shaking hands.

2) Smile.

-I felt like cameras are flashing everywhere. I can't stop smiling after meeting one employee to another. It's difficult not to especially when they say first impressions last so why not make myself look good to have a lasting effect? Wow. Being a celebrity definitely is not my cup of tea if they do it more than an hour each day for photoshoots.

Lesson Learned: Practice smiling in front of the mirror each day because you'll never know when you'll need it!

3) Nice meeting you.

-I must have uttered those 3 words for a hundred times today other than Hi and repeating the person's name to easily memorize them. It's kind of being back to Kindergarten when you're trying to remember the alphabet in your head.

Lesson Learned: Look at the bright side at all times. You'll never know if that person you once met will help you open the locked restroom when you forget those damn codes especially when you were entering the code from a different floor. Angels surely do exist!

4) It's raining men.

-Literally and figuratively. I actually thought there's more female than the male population. Guess not. There were more men today especially in our department. Due to the overpopulation of the male species, I forgot to bring my umbrella when I got out for lunch which drowned me like a rat on my way out and back to work. 

Lesson Learned: Do not forget to bring umbrella. Men are still men, regardless of the weather. Do not expect someone to offer their umbrella just because you forgot to bring yours!

5) Early out.

-Miracles still happen in real life! My new boss allowed me to go home 1.5 hours early and then advised me to come to work by 7:30 a.m. instead of the regular 9:00 a.m. shift. 

Lesson Learned: Good things happen to those who wait although sometimes there's a catch!