The one with money

A friend from work told me thru text earlier that he can't spend his backpay for vacation for the simple reason that he needs to save it.

He's a breadwinner in the family and every cent counts so although my gut begs to disagree, I told him it's understandable but he is still entitled to have a vacation or else stress will kick in and he's in for more trouble.

Money is a topic I rarely want to discuss with anyone especially if it is bluntly asked or related to your job description. I agree that saving it would be a great way to plan the future that would include that "dream" vacation. However, I prefer to take advantage of every opportunity to spend it with family and friends to have fun because you'll never know when you can still spend it in your so-called "planned" future.

I mean, what if something happens to me? What if I can no longer enjoy that planned vacation because I don't have the money or the time anymore? It's scary when you start thinking about it.

As a Taurean, it is in my nature to have leisure and lifestyle as a priority although I am more inclined to stay at home and read a book most of the time. I believe everyone deserves to have the freedom to embrace anything and everything that money can buy. On the other hand, I understand that not everything can be bought. Money can be a tool to gain that "thing" you wanted most but sometimes, it defeats its main purpose too.

A great example of that would be my family. My Dad is always working abroad. He can probably buy anything that we wish for but it's still not enough. My only wish since I was a kid was to spend the rest of my life with him in the same country. I envied other kids who always have both their parents with them on Recognition Day or Parents' Appreciation Night or Family Day. I kept thinking that my aunt can't compete with having both parents around. My Mom's there but most of the time, my aunt is the one who goes with me because my Mom hates those mothers who can't be bothered with anything else except to gossip about other people.

If I can wish for anything on my birthday, it would be to have the time when my Dad is around again without thinking of having an expiration date for all those days that we spend together.

Time can suck sometimes. It can ruin every waking moment of your life and you'll only realize it when it can no longer be reversed or changed.

Going back to the main issue--money--it is important but all the wonderful and most valued possessions and persons in your life can never be replaced by millions of it; there's no price for happiness no matter how hard we try.

The one with my birthday

Okay, it's my birthday for the 26th time.

Happy Birthday to me! :)

My ex-colleagues and I went to a KTV last night after the blessing of the new shop of my sister's bf. We laughed like there's no tomorrow for hours...They sang almost all possible songs in each decade since the 1950's. My gay friend brought his new partner along and he's Josh Groban in shorts! With his great voice, I can't argue with his newfound love. They're a perfect match. My other friend brought her bf too so it's like I'm the 5th wheel! Anyway, it turned out great after a few minutes of awkwardness because everyone's in the mood to sing and drink and be merry. =)

I missed having them around to tease when I'm bored or simply because it became a habit like wearing earrings everyday. Life is just not that normal without them.

I'm so thankful that I reached this age. I'm not as optimistic when it comes to aging so technically, this is already huge blessing for me. Like all hopeful people, I wish for certain things on my so-called big day.

Wish List:

5. I had this dream since I attended community service to celebrate my birthday with little kids who grew up without their family or those kids from adoption centers. I hope I can do that before I reach my 30th birthday!

4. I'd love to spend my day with close friends and play poker..naah, the poker thing would be a bonus =p

3. It wouldn't be bad to receive a gift but I'd prefer something that was not bought from a store. What I treasure the most among all the gifts I'd gotten are those cards that my grade school friends gave me. It's probably the most thoughtful present ever- that until now I still kept it in a wooden box! The time can be seen from its yellowish color and believe it or not, it's fascinating to me as a new toy is for kids on Christmas ^_^

2. Peace of mind. Weird but I love having a ME-time to reminisce my previous year and all that. I mean, who wouldn't? It's fun...sort of recalling all the people you met, thinking about the others who never got in touch anymore and laughing about the good and worst times of your year rolled into one.

1. It's rare that I celebrate my birthday with the whole family. If I'm not mistaken, we've been complete twice since I got a mind of my own: one was when I was 5 and we went to the park after church and the second time was at 15 or 16 with my aunt and uncle in Singapore. Lately, being a grown up is such a pain in the @$$ especially with my parents around but I still enjoy being with all of them because that's the time I feel complete amidst all the chaos in this world.

Hopefully, nothing peculiar happens later...wish me luck!

The one with the loser day

It's almost lunch, not even a nap since 6 p.m. yesterday, but I am still as awake as an electrocuted rabbit. Why?

2 REASONS:

1. work-related bad/good news

2. poker

Let's start with the first one. The HR and training manager surprised me and some of my wave mates when they separately discussed our "sort of" termination from work. It is not exactly the right word because we decided to leave the company, not the opposite. Each of them mentioned about the salary which was higher than what we expected. Technically, we'll be paid until May 12 although we were asked not to show our faces at work starting today.

Unfortunately, I was not trained on how to handle deep emotional stress so instead of looking like it's the end of the road, I laughed at every silly comments and questions made by my office mates in my hopeless attempts to deny the truth, as requested by our beloved manager--to avoid further bitterness for those who will stay on training. I really hate the confidentiality agreements; it's like poison to friendship.

Smiling seemed to be the best way to handle things so I did-- when we bought them pizza for our last hour there, when they teased me to sing (I didn't, after singing twice for being late--never again), when my friend Charlie made a speech on behalf of those who are leaving (I almost cried in the corner) and lastly when our trainer said goodbye and shook my hand. I almost ran to go outside because I can't bear to see them and not imagine what could have been if I stayed.

As much as I've wished to be out of that room to wake myself up for so many times (only to get coffee or to go the restroom), I wanted to be inside that training room when I closed the door. I'll surely miss all the fun times that we had while we tackle silly and green stuff all at the same time.

The good news is that I'm free from all the stress made by malwares, sales scripts and DOS commands and I'm still paid for being at home. The bad news is I'm back to square one. I'm unemployed again. I am an instant addition to those who will go online looking for jobs and waiting for a call that may never come. I will be another lost soul lurking in offices, sitting in an uncomfy chair while the HR tries his or her best to annoy me with questions and the endless waiting to test my thin patience.

Sad but life's like that.

Let's move on to Poker. An addiction to the online game in Facebook called Texas Hold 'em Poker got me constantly hooked to my laptop. I played for almost 4 hours since I got home and guess what--I'm still a loser. I lost about $5,000 from a game! A virtual game. Darn- I managed to be a loser virtually and in reality. Who can beat that now?

=(

The one with Luna Lovegood

“The things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect.” -Luna Lovegood of Harry Potter

I can certainly relate to that line from the movie--Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. It seems like bad news kept coming and there's no room left for hope these days.

I went home this morning after work feeling like a cat moping on the sofa. I've been having sleepless nights thinking where I'm going to work after April 20. The acquisition made by an unscrupulous company to my current employer is downright tragic. My co-workers and I were given a choice to stay; however, their terms and conditions lay a heavy burden on our heads that made me decide to leave the company.

I'm usually optimistic whenever I encounter difficult situations. I treat them as a challenge for my own personal growth no matter how far it leads me as long as it's for a long-term goal. I never realized I would end up defeated a month before my birthday.

Another bad news was served to me in the form of a missed call from a close friend. I woke up when I heard my sister talking to another friend of his who told her that his mom passed away. It would've been bearable if her death was due to old age or nightmare (although it's still never going to be easy to accept) but fate was too cruel and had to create a fire that burned their house in Davao with his mom locked in her room. The saddest part was that she cried for help and nobody had the courage to rescue her for fear of their own life.

He's a very jolly person. He even organized some kind of celebration last Thursday held in a coffee shop near the bay area just to eat breakfast. Unlike most Filipinos who stay at home during holy week or go to different churches, he said he would like to spend his time with closest friends for the daily dose of updates. We didn't even have a clue that after that celebration we would receive a very disturbing news.

Nothing beats depression than another tragic news. His news made me forget my own dilemma. My work-related problem is nothing compared to his loss right now.

Sometimes I want to question God why He does these things. Why did he take her away from him? Why did she have to endure such pain when He can take her any way He pleases without inflicting such suffering?

As hard as it is to accept it, I try to understand that He always has a reason for everything. It is the only thing that helps me see the world in a different light.

I must admit I'm not a religious person. A Catholic who doesn't go to masses every week but goes to church to pray is not something that I am proud of. I prefer to talk to God alone rather than go to mass and not understand a word that the priest is saying combined with different kinds of noises in the background.

Going back to the line from HP and the P of A, I took it as a sign when I watched it this morning from HBO. Maybe in some way, God is telling me not to lose hope somehow.

If not, then I'll try to look for another sign and hope I don't miss it.